Tag I’m it. Today I take my turn just to journal my filth…
Today, my weakness is my thinking about and engaging other people’s struggles and afflictions and brokenness and sin and weakness for the sake of gospel discovery and dependence to the point that I don’t look in the mirror and take stock of who I am… and am not. Today, right now – I am struggling and afflicted and broken and sinful and weak.
By God’s grace, I have seen transformation in a broken marriage (nothing but pieces on the ground 6 years ago). But still – how is it that I haven’t figured out how to love my wife and let her share with me her ‘issues’ without my pushing back or being defensive? Still weak.
By God’s grace, we have seen 3 kids grow and mature. Nate turns 1 today. Lina is taking school by storm. Meggie still makes me laugh in between her 3 year old tantrums. By God’s grace they’re alive and healthy and fun. But still – how is that 5 years into the parenting gig I am unsure if I have matured at all in how I deal with my children’s disobedience or accidents or whining or crying? Still weak.
By God’s grace, I have a job for which I get to study his Word. I get to dream kingdom dreams (and not have it be daydreaming). I get to learn about people. I get to read. I get to preach. But still – how is it that I can get up on some mornings and not know how to pray or meditate or worship or love people? Still weak.
There you have it. My mini-journal that today I am still weak and will be as long as it is called today. Point is: I am still not a strong Christian. But thanks be to God I can be the weak Christian that I am who depends on a strong gospel for slow learners like me.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in ALL our afflictions, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in ANY affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4